


Reconsider

by Nihonkikuasa211



Category: Code Black (TV)
Genre: F/M, Mentions of 1x05, One-Sided Attraction, Pining, Post 1x07
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-25
Updated: 2015-12-25
Packaged: 2018-05-09 09:29:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5534744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nihonkikuasa211/pseuds/Nihonkikuasa211
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Neal remembers Christa's words as he leaves the hospital, thinking of his feelings for the blond intern.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reconsider

_Reconsider_

 

                It was only supposed to be a couple of drinks. Neal hadn’t thought it would go that far. He had only meant to talk with Christa – Dr. Lorenson – but it appeared that morning, his alcohol-fogged brain had other ideas. It had been a long time since he had ever sat with someone or had a drink – actually talked to a person who was not a patient or a colleague. The attending had yet to see Dr. Lorenson – Christa, now in his mind – like this, laughing and talking with him as equals.

                His mind, now remembering of how they both had too much to drink and helped each other up before parting ways. For some reason his hand still felt the smooth skin of Christa’s hand, and he too – although he could never admit it – was unable to fall asleep later that morning. _When had it begun?_ he asked himself as he walked outside of Angels Memorial Hospital. Neal had hoped to see Christa on the way out to work, but found no sign of her. A brief disappointment bubbled in his chest before focusing on more important things. How was his mother doing since the chlorine incident three weeks before? Were he and his estranged father now on speaking terms? And, why _did_ he go all the way to a place that sometimes seemed as foreign to him as it had been when he had been a resident desperate to shed his father’s callous words and shadow? _“It’s a long story,”_ the Englishman had told Christa.

                It seemed that Neal’s mind was more and more revolving around the blond intern. His mind had not left from the time they had breakfast together, thinking of the words and smiles they had shared without any barriers between them. Sharing phone numbers. Calling each other by their names.

                Neal had apologized to Christa for being irresponsible – he should have monitored how much they had to drink and perhaps not have even had breakfast in the first place. _Why not?_ A small voice burned in the attending’s mind. _You haven’t ever dated anyone in your life. You’ve never had a life outside the hospital._

_I do not want to go in deeper than I already have,_ Neal thought to himself. _I do not want to risk…my feelings for her._

_“If you think anything is on my mind other than being the best doctor I can be, then you need to reconsider.”_

                _I know, Christa._ Neal thought as his dark eyes surveyed the windows of the hospital, where he normally would be working. _You are a great doctor – I can already see it, and I know you will make me proud one day…if you already hadn’t._

_“Can I tell you one thing?”_

                He could still feel of how hard his heart had pounded as the younger doctor looked at him. How he wanted to suggest that they should do this again – have lunch perhaps, and talk. But Neal calmed his heart and teased her instead, smiling at the tone of her voice as she told him he was full of it. _I shouldn’t react this way to you. I know everything about the human brain, but yet when it comes to my…growing feelings for you, I do not know what do to._

_I do not want this to turn out as a mistake, Christa. But…I didn’t regret the time we had together, deep in my heart._

He hadn’t mentioned of how she had called him by his name for the first time after he had fought to save the patient that had died with the seemingly-same contagion as his mother. His sharp breaths, heaving and with the room still as the patient remained unresponsive to CPR. Only remembering later, of how she had said his given name _twice_ during that hellish night. Normally, it would take years for students to call their mentors by their given names, as it had been with Leanne to Neal. And yet, it seemed almost natural to be called by his name by Christa more often than not.

                Neal sighed, closing his eyes for a moment, and wondering what the hell he had gotten himself into. _The only thing I can reconsider is how I interact around you, Christa, and I like you._

_Even though you have other aspirations._

**Author's Note:**

> I had first written this after the episode had aired, so I thought that the residents were still called interns like in the first episode.


End file.
